Hard To Say Goodbye

You pick them out, bring them home, nurture them, watch them grow, play with them and then you have to say goodbye. Why do we do this in the first place when it's so hard to let go at the end?

I'm talking about pets. Those adorable little creatures that bring us so much joy, only to bring us almost unbearable heartache when they leave us for a better place. Regardless how they leave, it hurts so much we tend to live in a vacuum immediately afterwards. We are lost and don't know what to do. We think we hear them in the house, need to feed them, miss taking them out and don't understand why we ever got mad at them.

These may be the only creatures we ever experience that no matter how much we yell at them, how much we get mad at them, pick up after them, will give us unconditional love. They always look for our approval, come to us when we call and know when we don't feel good. They trust us to keep them healthy, fed, watered and clean. We take them for granted when we stay out too long and don't get home before they have an accident and soil the carpet or get in the garbage because we didn't feed them at their normal feeding time.

Today I put my baby of 14 years to sleep after she had a stroke two days ago. She never complained until the pain finally got so bad she finally had to let me know. She had "Acquired Immune Deficiency" for the past few of months and was unable to use her left rear leg. She never even whimpered. She had difficulty walking the last month or so and I would carry her outside so she could go potty. No matter how long I was gone she never had an accident in the house. The last couple of days after the stroke, my daughter would hold her head so she wouldn't flail while I held her back end up. She never complained. Even when she stopped eating her regular food and only took treats out of my hand so I could give her medication, she looked appreciative.

Last night shortly after I got ready for bed, she started to whine. It was a sound I was totally unfamiliar with. As the night went on she would whine a little and then bark. I hadn't heard her bark in years and I was startled. Neither of us slept more than fifteen minutes before another episode came on. Because she was my friend and because she had always been loyal, I had to make a difficult and painful, (to me) decision. She had to be put down.

Although it was difficult and I cried like a baby, I know it was best for her. I know she is out of pain and I believe she will be waiting for me, along with all my other pets, when it's my turn. I will miss her and thankful God let me borrow her for 14+ years.

My dear Teddy, it was hard to say goodbye.

Love,

Daddy